Don’t Fall Victim To This Mindset!

How To Avoid This Deadly Inner Game Trap…

I wanted to share an excellent article with you. My good friend Shelly McMurtry wrote this a while back, and she gave me permission to print it here.

She spotted something that I think you should know about when it comes to meeting women. Read on…


The Refunder Mentality – by Shelley McMurtry

There are women out there that will return anything… From a pair of shoes to the man they’re dating! Nothing and no one is good enough for them– they have entitlement syndrome, are selfish, and simply too lazy to get anything to work for them. This includes the men they run across, date for a short time, see what they can SUCK out of him (NOT THE GOOD KIND OF SUCKING EITHER!!), and then will toss out– like a soiled undergarment. Learn to recognize these women– and protect yourself!!!

From Shelley McMurtry…
“The woman on your side”

I want to tell you a story…. I’m writing this because I just got off the phone with a distraught man in his later 40’s, named Samuel. He called me crying… literally.

Supposedly he met a woman about 4 months ago named Christy. At first he thought Christy was everything he always wanted in a woman… He thought she was caring, affectionate, and loving… She is an elementary school teacher, very personable, tall, with long blonde hair, and attractive.

Samuel has fallen head-over-heels for Christy… but today she called him, out of the blue, and told him that she no longer wants to see him and has found someone new. Samuel couldn’t believe it… They had seen each other just two nights ago and everything was great & they had plans tonight. Samuel pried and tried to find out what was wrong– if he had done something he wasn’t aware of.

Christy proceeded to tell Samuel that she had lost attraction and interest in him, and that she found a man she was highly attracted to. She said that she has more in common with the new man, and that she “needed something new“.
As Samuel cried, telling me through his sobbing tears about how wonderful this woman is for him (even though she’s obviously not), he started telling me about all of the nice, friendly things he had done for her.

One of the first things he mentioned was that last weekend he returned a pair of shoes for her. Okay, now number one, he shouldn’t have been returning shoes for her, but the fact that she had shoes she wanted to return got my attention first and foremost…

“Why did she want to return these shoes, Samuel?” I asked.

This is what he actually told me: “Well, she had purchased these shoes she thought she liked, wore them to work that week and realized she didn’t like them and they weren’t her type of shoes, so she wanted to return them but didn’t have time, so I did it for her.”

After hearing this I immediately asked him, “And why didn’t you know right then that she would eventually return you too… sooner than later… Just like she did today???”

You see, this woman obviously has what I sometimes refer to as “refunder mentality”. Someone who has “refunder mentality” has a mix of entitlement syndrome, laziness, selfishness, and scarcity mentality…. And NONE of those are good things to have– especially in a dating partner!!

Anyone can have “refunder mentality”… a man or a woman… And women who are reading this… you need to watch for “refunder mentality” in men too!!

“These are the people who are always whining about something “not being right for them,” always bellyaching and moaning, and simply sour, depressing people to be around.”

They would rather “refund” something, return it and get it out of their life… verses put the effort or dedication into making it work or using it.

Chances are, in Christy’s case, she just didn’t feel like she looked good in those shoes… since they weren’t her “type” of shoes after she wore them for a day… She then wanted to return USED shoes she had worn for a FULL DAY… Okay, you know what… In my book, that is nothing more than plain and simple theft.

She did the same thing to Samuel… She found someone “newer & better” (so she thinks), that she believes is more of her “type”– and so she “returned” Samuel and told him she didn’t want to date him any longer.

Being in this business, I unfortunately get to see “refunder mentality” on a daily basis… and I usually can tell, right off the bat, why the man can’t meet or keep a woman.

Women don’t like men with “refunder mentality”…

They won’t call it that or even know exactly why they aren’t attracted to the man who has it. They will just sense that something about him is weak, or whiny, less than manly, or possibly even cheap.

Women aren’t attracted to men who always have problems with stuff, are always negative, whining and complaining, and bellyaching… None of that describes a man who is confident, secure, lighthearted, funny, interesting, and optimistic… and those ARE the things women are attracted to.

As men, you shouldn’t allow a woman in your life that constantly bellyaches, is negative, expects everything to be given to her, will use something and then return it or get a refund, or who has clear signs of entitlement syndrome. If you do allow such a woman in your life… I guarantee you that she will be “refunding” you, just like Christy did to Samuel!

And… watch out for women with “refunder mentality”– you don’t want to end up shocked and heartbroken like Samuel did.

These are important questions to always ask yourself when you’re reading something or trying to learn, and you want to make sure that the women you date also think this way:

“What can I learn from this?”
“How can I make this work for me?”
“What lesson can be taken from this?”
“What do I need to learn from this point, going forward?”

And if you do find something you’ve purchased to be a HUGE mistake and can’t find any good in it– then ask yourself:
“What mistake have I learned?”

When you ask yourself that, right there, you’ve gotten your moneys worth!

What do women want??? Remember… interesting, enlightened, charismatic, fun, secure, confident, personable, manly men.

What do women NOT want??? Whining, complaining, bellyaching, weak, prissy boys, that are less than manly men.

Make good things happen now.

Your friend & the woman on your side,




Shelley’s absolutely right on about this.

Believe it or not, I have even had a guy write me to tell me that he wanted to return a program that was helping him because he would “rather have a program that was flashy and looked cool” – even if it didn’t teach him anything new. Hmmm… I told him I wouldn’t make an inferior product that was all flash, but I know plenty of other so-called gurus out there that would.

I have a personal policy that I never return things I buy unless they are defective and I need a replacement. This forces me to 1) Make a commitment to what I’ve bought, and 2) Take my decisions more seriously.

Oh, and it also has the side effect of making me much more willing to FIND something to learn from everything I buy. (And I buy a LOT of educational and self-development programs. I spend about 10% of my income on education, and you should, too!)

You see, the fact is that there is ALWAYS something you can learn from every program you get. You just have to make the commitment to find it and USE it.

To your sexual future,

Isabella Stone