Yeah, that’s a pretty brave thing to open up with.
But stick with me and I’ll explain how you’ve probably been conned by most of the self-help gurus out there.

Look, it’s a fact: Confidence building is one of the most important things for us all.

We all want to look self-assured and powerful to other people.
Not to mention, we just want to feel confident enough to do new things and venture out of our claustrophobic comfort zone.

What women would you approach if you had more confidence?

What business opportunities would you seek if you had more confidence?

What kind of hobbies would you engage in if confidence was no longer an issue for you?

Well, the fact remains that most of us are focusing on getting more confidence – and it’s actually creating more anxiety and problems for us.

In a second I’ll explain why this is, and how you avoid this trap – so that you can have all the confidence you want – anytime, anyplace.

But first you need to understand that most of the modern self-help stuff focuses on how you overcome your fears when you’re in a situation where you lack confidence. But this is the worst thing possible for you, because when you focus on defeating your fear, you’re battling a monster that can NEVER be killed.

Sure, he can be battered into submission every once in a while, but usually he’s back – stronger than ever – the next time.

So what do you do? Give up?



It’s really that simple.

Because inevitably, when your mind knows that fear is there, you start to really hate the FEELING of fear.
Because there’s a battle up ahead, yo!

Your mind starts to become conditioned to expect the sensation of fear, and it knows that it’s about to be put into battle mode once again, and then you start thinking this:

“Oh, man. Here we go again. Fear is coming.”

Then: “I hate this. It’s always painful. And it keeps coming back!”

And then: “Uh, maybe I can avoid it this time. Instead of getting into another long battle, I’ll just do something different instead of fighting the fear.”

And what usually happens is that you start to avoid situations where you might feel fear.

Because you know that you have to go through that long struggle with your own invincible emotions.

It’s like one of those movies where the bad guy keeps coming back and coming back and coming back…

It gets tiresome.

If it was as easy as John McClane throwing Hans Gruber off the Nakatomi building just once…
well, that’d be just great. (In the movie “Die Hard.”)

But if Hans kept getting up and coming back after John again and again… well, that would be tiring and you’d just walk out. Not to mention just plain silly.

But that’s what FEAR is like. It’s the villain that never goes away.

So how do you overcome Fear once and for all?

You welcome it!

Embrace the Fear with wide open arms. Buy Fear a drink and an appetizer.

There’s a saying: “Keep my friends close, and keep my enemies CLOSER.”

That’s right on the money when it comes to your Fear.

You see, most guys out there run away from the feeling of fear, as I told you. When the sensation starts to creep into their mind, they avoid that situation. They create a learned behavior of avoiding any circumstances that invoke fear.

And so they actually avoid all the cool stuff in life.

What gets you past this is getting used to the feeling of fear, and surfing it.

Ride that bitch into the sunset, I say.

It’s like a bucking bronco, and all you have to do is just HOLD ON.

After all the initial thrashing and bucking is over, you got yourself a broke-in horse, cowboy.

It is JUST like that in the real world, by the way. Not just a clever analogy I came up with on the spot. (Pardon me while I pat myself on the back here…)

Once you learn how to just sit there WITH your fear, you’ll possess the secret to overcoming it.

It’s simply NOT FIGHTING IT!

Once you learn this principle and put it to work, you’ll discover the cool secret side-effect:

Your confidence goes through the roof.

I know, I know… It sounds totally illogical.

But the fact is that all those people out there that you think are so brave and so confident are just using this principle.
They still feel the fear – but they act in spite of it.

And, as the saying goes, “Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain.”

In fact, it’s the ONLY way to kill that fear and anxiety.

If you focus on “building confidence,” you’ll just wind up frustrated and defeated.
Because confidence is the WRONG goal.
What you need is the ability to stop going further into your head and just DO the thing you want to do.

It’s the fastest path to the confidence you seek, and you’ll discover a whole new world of possibility and success out there that you never imagined was possible.

If you want to discover more techniques to deal with fear and possess this kind of bulletproof self-confidence, I urge you to take a look at this special report on confidence and how to rise to the top of the heap.

REMEMBER: Please Leave Me A Nice Comment!


  1. Love the confidence tips, will appreciate it if you inlightened me more on the topic. It is very necessary in life.. Tanx.

  2. I’m in the fight game (as a fighter) Fear is the underlying substrate for all things you will and won’t do. I’ve known guys who were absolute animals in the gym, wrecking people left and right, and then these same people turned to jelly in championships

    Other guys will take 3-4 techniques and some blood and guts into the cage and win with nothing but their will to win. It applies to women, it applies to marriage even ( for those of us rocking our ladies world in captivity) and it applies to everything

    Love your emails Isabelle, one of the few I open without fail in my inbox.

  3. Hi Isabella,
    Thank you for your helpful tip. I quite agree with you that you just do whatever you want to do and don’t think about building up your confidence. How long can you build up confidence to overcome your fear? You can never know. It has often happened to me and now I realize that I have to change my attitude. Just do what you want to do, fear will definitely vanish into thin air.
    I am looking forward to your next tip.
    Thankfully yours,

  4. Yes,yes, 1,000 times YES!!! Accept that “I feel what I feel” as I do what I said I was going to do. In out context, dating, seduction: She says “no” So what? Next!! She says “yes” GREAT…unless she’ *IT* next is, again, an option.

    Another thing, “I love myself!” “I hate myself.” Who am I; “I” or “myself”? Which is it? I work to get rid of that dualistic thinking. I am. I enjoy this experience, this discovery, the pains, the pleasures, the joys, the experience of being as much as I can as I seek to be more aware of my being…OK…I’ll stop now.

    But, yeah, “I feel fear” Great, isn’t that interesting? I might as well keep on keepin’ on…

  5. You are so right–feel the fear, let it wash over you when it hits, soak it up! Then, get your bearings, breathe (fear stops you from breathing), take slow deep breathes, face it, Facing your fear is the most empowering thing you can do. It makes you ultimately fearless.

    What ;you have just laid out here is such great advice and technique, thanks for reminding everyone.

  6. Good job little lady,I think you are spot on in this advice,because we all spend way too much time in our heads.Treating fear like a little brother,and just learn to accept it.

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